Emotions aren’t problems to solve—they’re messengers revealing what we truly need.
In this episode of Beyond the Class, CFCC CEO and organizational psychologist Misty Janks explores how emotional intelligence (EI) transforms relationships, decision-making, and leadership.
The conversation begins around Daniel Goleman’s five components of emotional intelligence:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
These aren’t just abstract ideas—they’re practical tools that shape how we show up in every interaction. Misty explains how emotional catalysts—specific events that trigger strong emotional responses—can uncover our values and unmet needs. Whether it’s frustration pointing to a need for clarity or anxiety signaling a desire for safety, emotions guide us toward more profound understanding.
Listeners will gain three actionable strategies for managing emotional catalysts:
- Identify your triggers—both positive and negative.
- Pause before reacting—interrupting automatic responses and allowing space for thoughtful action.
- Reframe challenges by viewing emotional moments as opportunities for growth.
The impact of emotional intelligence goes far beyond the workplace. Leaders with high EI foster cultures of trust, adaptability, and psychological safety, while individuals experience less stress and deeper, more fulfilling relationships.
Whether you’re leading a team, navigating family dynamics, or simply striving to show up more intentionally, this episode offers practical wisdom for turning emotional awareness into your greatest strength.
AI-generated dictation of the podcast audio
Please note that this transcription was completed using AI software. Occasionally, unanticipated grammatical, syntax, homophones, and other interpretive errors are inadvertently transcribed by the software. Please excuse any errors that have escaped final proofreading.
Misty Janks: 0:01
Mastering emotional intelligence and handling emotional catalysts effectively is not just a workplace skill, it’s a life skill.
Adam Salgat: 0:10
Welcome to Beyond the Class From Knowledge to Action, the audio cast that helps Chapman Foundation alumni continue the journey of applying the skills they have built and turning them into practical, intentional actions for everyday life them into practical, intentional actions for everyday life. I’m Adam Salga, and today we’re diving into a topic that touches every part of our lives at work, at home and within ourselves emotional intelligence. Now, I know that’s a phrase that gets tossed around a lot, but emotional intelligence, or EI, isn’t just a trendy leadership term, it’s a life skill. Isn’t just a trendy leadership term, it’s a life skill. It’s about how we understand our emotions, how we respond to them and how we connect with others in meaningful, constructive ways.
Adam Salgat: 0:53
And at the heart of today’s conversation is something we refer to as emotional catalysts, those moments that spark an emotional reaction. Maybe it’s a comment in a meeting, a sudden change in plans or even a memory that resurfaces unexpectedly. These catalysts can either derail us or, if we handle them well, they can become powerful tools for awareness and growth. To help us unpack all of this, I’m joined once again with Misty Jenks, ceo of the Chapman Foundation. Misty is a thought leader and organizational psychologist who’s passionate about unleashing the power and potential of individuals and organizations. Misty welcome back.
Misty Janks: 1:35
Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited for this conversation and grateful for the opportunity to explore such an important topic.
Adam Salgat: 1:42
All right Misty, so let’s start with the big picture. You wrote a blog about this topic and in there you lay out why emotional intelligence is so essential, not just for leaders, but for anyone who wants to thrive in relationships and decision making. Can you walk us through and continue to explain what emotional intelligence is and begin laying the groundwork about why it matters?
Misty Janks: 2:06
Absolutely, adam. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand and manage our emotions, and to recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others. Daniel Goldman breaks it down into five key components. The first component is self-awareness, which is the ability to recognize your own emotions and their impact.
Adam Salgat: 2:28
All right, so I’m going to interrupt you and I know you just started in on these five key factors. But I want to ask you about this, because when I hear that, I immediately start thinking about our community listens and the extended disc assessment. How does the listens class and evaluation begin to lay the groundwork for self-awareness?
Misty Janks: 2:49
Yes, that connection makes a lot of sense. Our community listens and the extended DISC assessment are powerful entry points into self-awareness. This class creates a space where people can pause, reflect and begin to understand how their communication style impacts others. Disc in particular offers language and structure for recognizing our natural tendencies. That awareness is the first step towards emotional intelligence. Once you understand yourself more clearly, you can begin to manage your responses more intentionally and build stronger, more empathetic relationships.
Adam Salgat: 3:23
That sounds exactly like what I hear a lot of people say when they leave the Our Community Lessons class, and I’m sure you’ve heard that too.
Misty Janks: 3:29
Absolutely every class.
Adam Salgat: 3:32
So thanks for doing that and, listeners, I want to give a quick advertisement for our virtual meetings, our monthly roundtables, where we discuss different skills related to the lessons class, and also our app, cfcc Leads, where you can look through continuous learning options and interactive tools to help stay sharp. All right, so let’s get back to Daniel Goleman’s five key components of emotional intelligence. The first one we just discussed was self-awareness. Please continue to number two.
Misty Janks: 4:01
Yes, number two is self-regulation, which is managing your emotions in a constructive way. Number three is motivation, which is using emotions to fuel achievement rather than hinder it. Number four is empathy, which is understanding and responding to the emotions of others. And finally, number five is having social skills, which is the ability to build strong relationships and manage interpersonal dynamics. You mentioned number three in there, which is the ability to build strong relationships and manage interpersonal dynamics.
Adam Salgat: 4:27
You mentioned number three in there, which was motivation. I feel like that is something that often gets brought up in sports, that you know looking for like an emotion that just happened on the diamond on the field that really can drive motivation towards improvement instead of looking at it like a defeat right.
Misty Janks: 4:46
That’s the perfect example. It’s understanding. Okay, we just had this experience. Maybe I’m from that experience. I’m frustrated. So what are you going to actually do with that emotion? Are you going to let it propel you forward or are you just going to get in your head and let it bring you down?
Adam Salgat: 5:04
Yes, exactly. Yeah, that’s a motivating factor, and I know there’s a famous story of Michael Jordan creating stories sometimes and creating things to drive his motivation. Go ahead and continue about these skills.
Misty Janks: 5:16
Perfect. Yes, these are not just soft skills. They are foundational to how we lead, how we collaborate and how we show up in the world. High EI helps us navigate conflict, build trust and make decisions that are both thoughtful and caring. And here is the thing Even people with strong EI still have emotions. That is where emotional catalysts come in.
Adam Salgat: 5:40
Okay, so we’re definitely going to get into more detail on emotional catalysts, but I do want to take like a quick sidebar and ask you a question, because this isn’t the first time that you or our chief program officer, katie Trotter, has brought up the name Daniel Goldman. So for me and our listeners, can you tell us a little bit more about him and about his research too?
Misty Janks: 6:02
Sure. Daniel Goldman is a psychologist and author best known for popularizing the concept of emotional intelligence. His groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence showed us that skills like self-awareness, empathy and building strong relationships matter just as much, if not more, than IQ when it comes to leadership and success in life. His work is widely used because it connects neuroscience, psychology and practical leadership in a way that is both research-based and highly applicable.
Adam Salgat: 6:34
Thank you for doing that. Yeah, like I said, I heard his name. I’ve seen a little bit, but it sounds like that might be a good summer read.
Misty Janks: 6:41
It is, I love it.
Adam Salgat: 6:43
Yeah, I know you’re well, you’re a psychology nerd. Is it fair for me to call you that Perfect? So let’s start with your foundational idea from the blog. Emotions themselves aren’t a problem. It’s how we respond to them that matter. That perspective can really shift things, and you describe emotions as messengers. Can you unpack what that means and how we can learn to listen to them more effectively?
Misty Janks: 7:09
Yes, Emotions are signals. They are not random or inconvenient. They’re actually trying to tell us something, so we just need to slow down enough to be paying attention to that message. For example, frustration might be pointing to a need for clarity or control. Anxiety might signal uncertainty or a need for safety. Even disengagement can be a sign that we are craving meaning and connection. Instead of ignoring or reacting impulsively to emotions, we can pause and ask ourselves what is this emotion trying to tell me? What underlying need is not being met? And then how can I productively address that need? For example, if a leader feels frustrated when their ideas are ignored in a meeting, the deeper need might be wanting to feel valued and heard. Instead of reacting defensively, they can acknowledge the need and find a constructive way to express it, such as seeking feedback or adjusting communication strategies. When we ignore or suppress these emotions, we miss the message. But when we pause and ask what is this emotion trying to tell me, we can gain insight. That insight helps us respond intentionally.
Adam Salgat: 8:19
So why is that important? Why should we respond with intention, and what can happen if we don’t?
Misty Janks: 8:26
That’s a great question, and it’s because when we do not respond with intention, we often default to just a reaction, and reactions are usually driven by impulse, not clarity. That can lead to misunderstandings, broken trust or decisions we later regret. But when we pause to respond intentionally, we create space for better choices, stronger relationships and more effective leadership. It’s not about suppressing emotions. It’s about understanding them so we can channel it in a way that aligns with our values and goals. Responding with intention is where emotional intelligence becomes visible and impactful.
Adam Salgat: 9:06
All right, let’s step into those emotional catalysts, as you mentioned. I’m sure many of us have heard that term and I guarantee we felt them, even if we didn’t have a name for it. So what are they and why do they matter so much?
Misty Janks: 9:20
Emotional catalysts are specific events that provoke an emotional response. It can be something very simple or it can be tied to a past experience, a personal value or a belief. They can be positive, like joy or gratitude, or negative, like frustration and sadness. For example, if someone values stability and their team suddenly changes direction, that can be a catalyst for anxiety. Or if someone fears failure, even constructive feedback can feel threatening. Emotional catalysts can be situational, like an unexpected email from a supervisor, or internal, like a memory or a thought that resurfaces in a difficult moment. Understanding what causes our emotions is the first step to managing them effectively.
Adam Salgat: 10:05
So, once we recognize a catalyst, what do we do with it? How do we handle it in a healthy, productive way?
Misty Janks: 10:13
I recommend these three key strategies. First one is to increase self-awareness by working to identify your catalyst. So it’s important to know that before you can manage your emotional catalyst, you need to know what they are. There’s a couple ways that you can go about this. First, you can reflect on past situations that caused emotional responses and really think about what is that situation or what is that memory about. Number two, you can start to notice patterns in your reactions as you go about your day or three, you can try to keep a journal of emotional responses to recognize recurring catalysts and better understand your emotional landscape.
Adam Salgat: 10:54
Those are great tips. I know you mentioned there’s three key strategies. Why don’t you step into number two?
Misty Janks: 10:59
Yes. Number two is to regulate before reacting by using the pause method. When emotions are recognized, pause before responding. This interrupts the automatic reaction and gives your brain time to shift from an emotional response to a thoughtful one. You can do this by taking a deep breath. This engages your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you to stay calm. You could ask yourself what is really happening here. Why am I having this emotion? Or you can delay responding until you can do so with clarity. This might mean stepping away for a moment.
Adam Salgat: 11:35
I was recently talking to a friend who was talking about certain things going on with their work life, and one of the things I mentioned to them is it sounds like you’re reacting pretty quickly and I wasn’t trying to give advice, but I could just tell that they knew it too. So I reflected that back to them and one of the things I mentioned was that deep breath. I know it seems like such a simple thing and it’s a hard thing to do, though in the moment.
Misty Janks: 11:59
Yes, absolutely, and I think we’ve all had that email come in. That kind of could maybe bother us, and so we want to give it 24 hours before we respond.
Adam Salgat: 12:08
Yes, absolutely so. Let’s move on to tip number three, and we’re going to come back to that email statement that you just made too.
Misty Janks: 12:15
Okay. Strategy number three is to reframe the catalyst by trying to shift your perspective. Once you recognize an emotional catalyst, you can reframe it in a way that leads to growth. First, you can replace assumptions with curiosity Instead of assuming negative intent, ask questions to clarify. Second, you can focus on what you can control. You cannot always control situations, but you can control your reactions and finally turn challenges into learning opportunities. Emotional catalysts can be signals for personal growth.
Adam Salgat: 13:03
Keep that perspective, especially during the challenging time, can make the event easier for us. In reading it, it’s triggering something right Like what is it exactly that is triggering? It may take me a little bit to figure it out, but there’s definitely an emotion going on.
Misty Janks: 13:19
Yeah, I think we all have those examples. I did it this morning. You can just feel like, uh-oh, something’s bubbling up here for me. Can you take time to really pause and dig into it as key?
Adam Salgat: 13:31
In the email that I’m thinking about, I think like what was your first strategy again?
Misty Janks: 13:41
Yes, that first strategy is to increase self-awareness by working to identify your catalyst?
Adam Salgat: 13:43
Yeah, so if I’m thinking about that email and the emotion that was going on, I think the catalyst there is the fact that it was requesting change for a project, that I felt like I was going down one path and it was requesting a change. That not not that I disagreed with the change, but it was just something I had been working on for maybe a few weeks, and so it was just that initial reaction of like, okay, not what I’ve been working exactly towards, this might be a better change, but it’s still taking me a moment to accept it, breathe it in, I guess, like just kind of move into that. And I know one of my catalysts is change, that at times I can be slow to change, so I know that’s probably where that emotion was stemming from.
Misty Janks: 14:34
Well, it’s great that you’re nailing this first strategy, so let’s talk about the second one. Then, to regulate before reacting by using the pause method. Did you find yourself naturally doing that?
Adam Salgat: 14:44
Yeah, I think initially I did, and then I felt like it’d probably be better if we just talked about it in person and since I knew I had opportunity to speak to a person coming up, I just I sent an email saying, hey, can we talk about this? And set it up, so that way I knew I could take a little time also to analyze and, like accept and then also take the time to put my thoughts on paper, which technically doesn’t exist, barely exists in our world. But everybody knows what I mean. Right, like you, take the time to collect yourself, and so that was very helpful to take that space to regulate before I reacted.
Misty Janks: 15:24
All right, perfect. Then let’s look at this third strategy, and it is to reframe the catalyst by trying to shift your perspective. Did you find that you were naturally doing that?
Adam Salgat: 15:37
I think to some level, but I don’t know how much it was needed in this case, meaning I knew that, like for example you mentioned in there, instead of assuming negative intent like the email I knew was coming from someone who that was definitely not their intention and never is their intention so I knew, like that was something I could, I just breezed by I guess you know what I mean Like I I’m in a space where I can fully accept that. So that’s definitely an element and then, uh, an element that was easy to do, I should say so, reframing it in the idea of looking at it from their perspective. I think what it maybe caused me to do is in that time of putting my thoughts on paper has allowed me to maybe explain where I’m coming from, so we can work on this project now together with all the same base information.
Misty Janks: 16:29
Well, it sounds like you’re really knocking these out of the park, Adam.
Adam Salgat: 16:34
Trying to. I mean, life is not easy. We’re going to make mistakes in all of these spaces for sure. So when I think about it, I’m like what I’ve really tried to do is use that catalyst as a teaching moment right for myself, like take an opportunity and build off of it so I can continue to practice these skills. Whether it’s an email, it’s always tougher when somebody maybe says something in person and you have that initial reaction. But it’s also a great opportunity to think okay, what’s happening right now, take a breath, relax and see if you can come back to it. But I think sometimes in work environments, those emotions like I just talked about, like it’s not the idea of suppressing them, right, but sometimes in work environments emotions are not really invited and they, you know, might even be asked to be suppressed. Have you heard or seen that before?
Misty Janks: 17:25
Yeah, I have, and it’s discouraging and unsustainable. I believe that that is the way of the past. Remember, emotional intelligence is not about suppressing emotions. It’s about understanding them, regulating them and using them effectively. It is the foundation for strong leadership, healthy relationships and personal well-being.
Adam Salgat: 17:46
So there might be a case where we are in a moment, interaction, person to person interaction where we’re finding the best choice is to, at that moment, suppress the emotion but not to forget about it, meaning, don’t suppress it to the point where you’re not addressing it, but suppress it so you can take your time with it. Is that what I’m hearing?
Misty Janks: 18:09
I guess it depends on the relationship, because I know self-disclosure can be a beautiful gift to you and the person that you’re having that conversation with. A lot of times I’ll say you know what I’m noticing, that I’m having a reaction to this, and it’s just very real and authentic and it gives space to help us both understand why is it happening for me. And so it could be an invitation then if you were on the other side of that conversation where I could explore my values or a past experience, right, and so it could actually build a better relationship for both of us because we’d have that understanding about me going forward in the future.
Adam Salgat: 18:47
I really love that reminder about that. There might be a time when it might be best to come back to it, but also, doing it in that moment can be healthy too. Yeah, so continue on. If you don’t mind, tell me a little bit about what it means to be a leader with high EI.
Misty Janks: 19:01
Leaders with high EI create cultures of trust, adaptability and psychological safety. They can listen deeply, respond with empathy and guide their teams through change with steadiness and clarity. Their presence encourages openness and reduces fear, which allows people to contribute more fully. Team members with high EI navigate workplace challenges with resilience and collaboration. They’re more likely to manage conflict constructively, give and receive feedback with grace and stay focused under pressure. This leads to healthier dynamics and better outcomes across the team. Looking through the individual lens, individuals with high EI experience less stress, better relationships and greater overall well-being. They are more attuned to their own needs and emotions, which allows them to set boundaries, manage anxiety and show up more fully in both their personal and professional lives. Emotional intelligence is not a soft skill. It’s a human skill and, when practiced well, it transforms how we live, lead and connect with others.
Adam Salgat: 20:02
I love the statement you just made there that high EI, or emotional intelligence, is not something that’s just utilized in the workplace, right Like it’s a human skill.
Misty Janks: 20:14
Oh, absolutely. Mastering emotional intelligence and handling emotional catalyst effectively is not just a workplace skill, it’s a life skill. It shapes how we show up in our relationships, how we navigate stress and how we respond to challenges with intention instead of impulse, and how we respond to challenges with intention instead of impulse, Whether it’s at work, at home or in our communities. Our ability to understand and manage emotions influences the quality of every interaction that we have.
Adam Salgat: 20:41
So, as we wrap up Misty, let’s give our audience three actionable steps that they can start applying today.
Misty Janks: 20:47
That’s a great way to bring it all together. Emotional intelligence is not about something you master overnight, but there are simple steps that you can start practicing right now. First, identify your emotional catalyst. Know what sets you off and why. Notice the patterns in your emotional responses and what they might be trying to tell you. Often in our brains, we take this to what might be negative emotions fear, anxiety but I also urge you to look at the positive emotions, and where are you finding joy in life? Number two for you, then, is to pause before reacting. The small moment of awareness can change everything. It gives you the chance to choose a thoughtful response instead of a reactive one. And then number three, that I would recommend reframe and adapt. Shift your mindset. Instead of seeing challenges as threats, try viewing them as opportunities to grow, connect and communicate more clearly. Emotional intelligence is a skill, and, like any skill, it gets stronger with practice.
Adam Salgat: 21:56
Small, intentional steps can lead to meaningful change over time. I didn’t want to interrupt you there, but I really, really and you know me well, so you’re not surprised that I’m going to bring this up. But I love that you brought up the idea of identifying your emotional catalyst and that it doesn’t need to just be the ones that maybe cause fear or anxiety or discomfort. It’s the ones that can also bring about joy and happiness, and recognizing that those are also a great piece to try to bring into your life consistently.
Misty Janks: 22:21
Yes, it can bring more energy and fulfillment if you focus on those positives and how to bring more of them into your life.
Adam Salgat: 22:27
Thank you for that reminder. So if someone is looking for help identifying their emotional catalyst, how can our organization help?
Misty Janks: 22:34
Yes, the Chapman Foundation helps people build self-awareness through intentional reflection, practical tools and emotionally intelligent communication training. In all of our foundational programs, participants learn how to recognize emotions, name what they or the other person is feeling and explore the deeper needs behind recognize emotions, name what they or the other person is feeling and explore the deeper needs behind those emotions. Once you can identify what activates the emotions, you are better equipped to respond in a way that builds trust, connection and personal clarity.
Adam Salgat: 23:03
Thank you, Misty, for being here and thank you for stepping us through this.
Misty Janks: 23:08
Thank you so much for having me on.
Adam Salgat: 23:09
Emotional intelligence isn’t just something we use at work. It is something that we carry into every interaction, every decision, every relationship For our listeners. If you want to learn more or explore how to bring emotional intelligence to your organization, visit chapmancommunitiesorg. And don’t forget to subscribe to Beyond the Class for more episodes just like this one. And don’t forget to subscribe to Beyond the Class for more episodes just like this one. Until next time, we’re inviting you to walk your path with intention, because you are the message. Take care, my friends. Thank you.
